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Last Update: 2014-09-21
google terjemahConsider these cases:
A teenager stealing money for mobile phone
A teenager telling lies to hide school notices
A teenager not at all interested in studies
A teenager refusing to go to school
A teenager having an affair
A teenager answering back
A teenager not interested in talking to parents
A teenager lacking goals, concentration and values
A teenager talking about suicide, drugs and alchola
Do you think all this started just when the child became a teenager OR you think that the foundation of all the above was laid when the child was small.
Mostly in my counselling sessions I am asked “are we late to make any difference now”. My answer deep inside my heart is YES. I wish the parents would have raised the alarm when the child first time hid his complain letter from parents or when the child the was reluctant to go to school in early age or when the child was throwing tantrums in the social get-together to get that extra piece of chocolate or when the child was scared of darkness or child was ding wrong thing under the peer pressure at early age or the child was only talking about gadgets and brands or the kid was psening hours in front of the TV or you had to push to the child to leran anything new or…………..the list is endless.
I wish parents would have looked for different kind of parenting practice rather than “I know all about my child better” approach.
Somewhere our ego is coming n between to seek someone’s advice to make changes in my parenting style. How can somebody advice me to “what should I do with my child”. Mostly parents have their own ideas of their parenting approach and they strongly feel that they are doing best for the child. No doubt your intention are best But may not be the action.
My child is alright, doing well in studies – I do not need any counselling sessions. Counselling is seen as a taboo. It is seen as a indication that I am not able to handle my situation hence I need to take advice of others.
I am often asked by parents that – the problem is with child then why do you want to meet us not the child. The same parent after talking and reflecting back on their parenting – they realized it the way of parenting that needs improvements not the child.
Whenever a child is not doing well in school or not behaving the way we want – we think that there is problem “only” with the child. We rarely look into the environment around the child which is created by us as parent. So when the child is not doing well in school – we put the child into tuitions. When the child is not behaving well – we try to make the child behave well by adding punishment as consequences. At the end when nothing works we give up or few look for counsellors.
We as parents are clueless. Everybody is following each other without knowing where everybody is heading. We look at our neighbour or friend for solution. We compare the situations – and feel good or bad depending upon how my child is doing.
Every child go to various classes – so my child also goes
Every family go for vacations – so my family also go
Last Update: 2014-09-19
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