Vous avez cherché: te jode (Espagnol - Anglais)

te jode y te aplasta
you and i

el ego te jode cuando me pides ayuda.
the ego fucks you when you ask me for help.

ya puedes esforzarte en ir a la muerte con dignidad y coraje que si te toca un mal compañero en el reparto, te jode la muerte bien jodida.
you can psych yourself up to go to your death with courage and dignity but if you draw a flake for a partner he’ll fuck it up for you.

precisamente, una noche antes de dormir en un hospital, estrello su coche amarillo chillon contra un pino, y el del seguro insistia en si habia hecho parte amistoso: " si, con el arbol, no te jode".
to be precise, the night before going to sleep in a hospital it crashed its noisy yellow car into a pine-tree, and the insurance agent wanted to know if it had amicably exchanged insurance coverage: “sure man, me and tree exchanged numbers.” if you laugh at it, it might surprise you with its retort: “i may be a fool, but no way am i an idiot.”