From professional translators, enterprises, web pages and freely available translation repositories.
Right from the start, I’m disgusted with myself for being here. The last thing I need is for you to start in on me too. It’s been about year since the world’s best security-camera footage almost had me indicted for blowing a douche bag’s head off. But once it got leaked that it was the shot that foiled a major terror plot, the grand jury said, “Thank you for your time.” I’m marking the anniversary with some very necessary indoor sightseeing, still mission bound, looking for the reels—and Pop.
He looks at me like he thinks it’ll put me in some kind of goo-goo-gah-gah trance. Really? I think. Why do guys think that kinda crap works? His hair is messy, shooting out in all directions, blondes and browns highlighted by the lamp beside the bed. The sheets are barely on either of us by now. I want to reenact Jessica Murphy’s nightstand scene. Throw money down by the lamp and walk out. No looking back over a shoulder. No second-guessing. Just moving forward. Back to business.
Oh, yeah, it’s Nick, Boy Wonder, and he’s still my ex. We’d probably be back together if I were a brain-dead cracked-out supermodel. You might have heard of him. Or maybe at least seen him in the latest Hollywood dump film, supporting the jock strap of a real A-lister. He’s been making the walk of shame and doing the nightly night-show routine. Hey, don’t judge—a girl’s still got needs, and he’s pretty. I’ve just got bigger balls than he does.
After the chaos settled from the now-infamous “Hollywood Shakedown,” the houses all came together to try and right the ships. They joined forces like the old days, jumping on the year’s biggest story. Decided they’d all get to turn a profit out of the ordeal by turning it into a blockbuster movie—only they changed some names and faces. Replaced my Camaro with a Viper, changed the Lamborghini to Ford’s Supercar, the GT40, keeping it an all-American badass theme. Hollywood, what can I say? The bigger the boom, the bloodier the fight, the more people will want to watch it.
The country went bat-shit crazy. They loved seeing their sweetheart turn into a real life action-hero. Jennifer Cabot playing the role she was born to play, Jennifer Cabot. Everyone got a piece of the pie, even Boy Wonder. He played the role of the pricky agent, Donny Swanic. I told him it wasn’t such a departure. He smiled, but I was being semi-serious—he can be douchey. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had to make a deal for him to be offered the role. They even asked if I wanted to play myself. I laughed. “Get Katee Sackhoff,” I told them. “She’s got the right kind of sass.”
Nick's obviously suffering from the jet lag. Mix that with rockstar amounts of gluttony and the words come out jumbled and confused.
“So what are you talking about then?” I ask him.
“Not too sure myself. I was asked by the selection committee to walk the carpet and possibly give an acceptance speech for Best Supporting.”
I’m pretty sure it was their way of cementing the Boy Wonder new movie star deal I made with them. Back rooms, someday someone is going to figure out what they're really for.
“As the agent? You’d better not be dicking me around.” I say.
“Sure, sure, I know. You’ll bust my balls again,” he says with a smile. “So you wouldn’t mind coming with me?”
Which means he’s horny again. I push his face down into the pillow with my hand and roll off the bed.
“Hey, watch the money-maker,” he says. “I'm doing a guest spot in a couple of hours.”
Boy Wonder’s here for a little show business and a lot of fun. I’m here strictly for business—okay, with a small side of fun. Wherever Pop is hiding out, it stands to reason it has to be someplace he’s been before. I’ve been backtracking his every step, meeting up with a list of contacts I managed to get from going through Spider’s house. He's always a step ahead of me, but I got time.
Almost a year since the night in the warehouse and not one word from him, good or bad. I’m sure I’m eventually going to come across someone who’s crossed paths with him. No one ghosts for that long without a peep or a head shot. Worried isn't exactly the right word, but it is closer than panicked.
As I walk naked to the balcony window, I flip Little Boy Blue Balls the bird. “Watch my ass,” I say.
Usage Frequency: 1
A long time ago, cricket fighting caught on in the imperial court, with the emperor leading the fad. A local magistrate in Huayin, who wanted to win the favor of the monarch, tried in every way to get him the best fighting crickets. He had a strategy for doing so: He managed to get a cricket that was very good at fighting. He then made his subordinates go to the heads of each village and force them to send in a constant supply of fighting crickets. He would send to the imperial court the crickets that could beat the one he was keeping. Theoretically, everything should have worked smoothly. However, as the magistrate was extremely zealous to please the emperor, he meted out harsh punishment on any village heads who failed to accomplish their tasks. The village heads in turn shifted the burden to the poor villagers, who had to search for the crickets. If they failed to catch them, they had to purchase them from someone else, or they had to pay a levy in cash. The small insects suddenly became a rare commodity. Speculators hoarded good crickets, buying them at a bargain and selling them for an exorbitant price. Many village heads worked hand in hand with the speculators to make profits. In so doing, they bankrupted many a family. Cheng Ming was one such villager. The head of his village delegated part of his duties to him because he found Cheng Ming easy to push around. Cheng Ming did not want to bully his fellow villagers as the village head did him, so he often had to pay cash out of his own pocket when he failed to collect any competent crickets. Soon the little proper ties he had were draining away, and he went into a severe depression. One day, he said to his wife that he wanted to die.“Death is easy, but what will our son do without you?” asked his wife, glancing at their only son, sleeping on the kang. “Why can’t we look for the crickets ourselves instead of buying them? Perhaps we’ll strike some goodluck.” Cheng Ming gave up the idea of suicide and went to search for crickets. Armed with a tiny basket of copper wires for catching crickets and a number of small bamboo tubes for holding them, he went about the tedious task. Each day he got up at dawn and did not return until late in the evening. He searched beneath brick debris, dike crevices, and in the weeds and bushes. Days went by, and he caught only a few mediocre crickets that did not measure up to the magistrate’s standards. His worries increased as the dead line drew closer and closer. The day for cricket delivery finally came, but Cheng Ming could not produce any good ones. He was clubbed a hundred times on the buttocks, a form of corporal punishment in the ancient Chinese judicial system. When he was released the next day, he could barely walk. The wound on his buttocks confined him to bed for days and further delayed his search for crickets. He thought of committing suicide again. His wife did not know what to do
Then they heard about a hunchbacked fortune teller who was visiting the village. Cheng Ming’s wife went to see him. The fortune teller gave her a piece of paper with a picture on it. It was a pavilion with a jiashan (rockgarden) behind it. On the bushes by the jiashan sat a fat male cricket. Beside it, however, lurked a large toad, ready to catch the insect with its long, elastic tongue. When the wife got home, she showed the paper to her husband. Cheng Ming sprang up and jumped to the floor, forgetting the pain in his buttocks.“This is the fortune teller’s hint at the location where I can find a perfect cricket to accomplish my task!” he exclaimed.“But we don’t have a pavilion in our village,” his wife re minded him.“Well, take a closer look and think. Doesn’t the temple on the east side of our village have a rock garden? That must be it.” So saying, Cheng Ming limped to the temple with the support of a make shift crutch. Sure enough, he saw the cricket, and the toad squatting nearby in the rock garden at the back of the temple. He caught the big, black male cricket just before the toad got hold of it. Back home, he carefully placed the cricket in a jar he had prepared for it and stowed the jar away in a safe place. “Everything will be over tomorrow,” he gave a sigh of relief and went to tell his best friends in the village the good news. Cheng Ming’s nine-year-old son was very curious. Seeing his father was gone, he took the jar and wanted to have a peek at the cricket. He was removing the lid carefully, when the big cricket jumped out and hopped away. Panicked, the boy tried to catch the fleeing cricket with his hands, but in a flurry, he accidentally squashed the insect when he finally got hold of it.“Good heavens! What’re you going to say to your father when he comes back?” the mother said in distress and dread. Without a word, the boy went out of the room, tears in his eyes.Cheng Ming became distraught when he saw the dead cricket. He couldn’t believe that all his hopes had been dashed in a second. He looked around for his son, vowing to teach the little scoundrel a good lesson. He searched inside and outside the house, only to locate him in a well at the corner of the court yard. When he fished him out, the boy was already dead. The father’s fury instantly gave way to sorrow. The grieved parents laid their son on the kang and lamented over his body the entire night. As Cheng Ming was dressing his son for burial the next morning, he felt the body still warm. Immediately he put the boy back on the kang, hoping that he would revive. Gradually the boy came back to life, but to his parents’dismay, he was unconscious, as if he were in a trance. The parents grieved again for the loss of their son. Suddenly they heard a cricket chirping. The couple traced the sound to a small cricket on the door step. The appearance of the cricket, however, dashed their hopes, for it was very small. “Well, it’s better than nothing,” Cheng Ming thought. He was about to catch it, when it jumped nimbly on to a wall, cheeping at him. He tip toed to ward it, but it showed no sign of fleeing. Instead, when Cheng Ming came a few steps closer, the little cricket jumped onto his chest.
Though small, the cricket looked smart and energetic. Cheng Ming planned to take it to the village head. Uncertain of its capabilities, ChengMing could not go to sleep. He wanted to put the little cricket to the test before sending it to the village head. The next morning, Cheng Ming went to a young man from a rich family in his neighborhood, having heard him boasting about an “invincible” cricket that he wanted to sell for a high price. When the young man showed his cricket, Cheng Ming hesitated, because his little cricket seemed no match for this gigantic insect. To fight this monster would be to condemn his dwarf to death.“There’s no way my little cricket could survive a confrontation with your big guy,” Cheng Ming said to the young man, holding his jar tight. The young man goaded and taunted him. At last, Cheng Ming decided to take a risk. “Well, it won’t hurt to give a try. If the little cricket is a good-for-nothing, what’s the use of keeping it anyway?” he thought. When they put the two crickets together in a jar, Cheng Ming’s small insect seemed transfixed. No matter how the young man prodded it to fight, it simply would not budge. The young man burst into a guffaw, to the great embarrassment of Cheng Ming. As the young man spurred the little cricket on, it suddenly seemed to have run out of patience. With great wrath, it charged the giant opponent head on. The sudden burst of action stunned both the young man and Cheng Ming. Before the little creature planted its small but sharp teeth into the neck of the big cricket, the terrified young man fished the big insect out of the jar just in time and called off the contest. The little cricket chirped victoriously, and Cheng Ming felt exceedingly happy and proud.Cheng Ming and the young man were commenting on the little cricket’s extraordinary prowess, when a big rooster rushed over to peck at the little cricket in the jar. The little cricket hopped out of the jar in time to dodge the attack. The rooster then went for it a second time, but suddenly began to shake its head violently, screaming in agony. This sudden turn of events baffled Cheng Ming and the onlookers. When they took a closer look, they could not believe their eyes: The little cricket was gnawing on the rooster’s bloody comb. The story of a cricket fighting a rooster soon spread throughout the village and beyond. The next day, Cheng Ming, along with the village head, sent the cricket to the magistrate and asked for a test fight with his master cricket, but the magistrate re fused on the ground that Cheng Ming’s cricket was too small.“I don’t think you have heard its rooster-fighting story,” Cheng Ming proclaimed with great pride. “You can’t judge it only by its appearance.”“Nonsense, how can a cricket fight a rooster?” asked the magistrate. He ordered a big rooster brought to his office, thinking that Cheng Ming would quit telling his tall tales when his cricket became the bird’s snack. The battle between the little cricket and the rooster ended with the same result: The rooster sped away in great pain, the little cricket chirping triumphantly on its heels.
The magistrate was first astonished and then pleased, thinking that he finally had the very insect that could win him the emperor’s favor. He had a golden cage manufactured for the little cricket. Placing it cautiously in the cage, he took it to the emperor. The emperor pitted the little cricket against all his veteran combat ant crickets, and it defeated them one by one. What amused the emperor most was that the little creature could even dance to the tune of his court music! Extremely pleased with the magic little creature, the emperor rewarded the magistrate liberally and promoted him to a higher position. The magistrate, now a governor, in turn exempted Cheng Ming from his levies in cash as well as crickets. A year later, Cheng Ming’s son came out of his stupor. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, to the great surprise and joy of his parents. The first word she uttered to his jubilant parents were, “I’m so tired and hungry.” After a hot meal, he told them, “I dreamed that I had become a cricket, and I fought a lot of other crickets. It was such fun! You know what? The greatest fun I had was my fight with a couple of roosters!”
(Taken from a website)
Usage Frequency: 1
Search human translated sentences
Users are now asking for help:rashtriya habbagalu in kannada essay (English>Kannada) | vettukathi english word (Tamil>English) | domine dirige me (Latin>English) | pars (Latin>Portuguese) | appadiya meaning' (Tamil>English) | primaveral (Spanish>Portuguese) | arrependerá (Portuguese>English) | lansas (Spanish>English) | caire estret (Catalan>Spanish) | ea re (Latin>English) | negundinis (Latin>English) | paupières (French>English) | all purpose flour (English>Gujarati) | polycarbonaten (German>Italian) | resurssitehokkuustavoitteiden (Finnish>English)